Ten Things I Would Tell Myself

So it's graduation season, the time when we talk about beginnings being disguised as endings and when kids get their first taste of "the real world" (whatever that means).  This week, I began thinking about what I would tell my 18 year-old, about-to-graduate self if I could go back in time and share some things I've learned along the way.  Here is what I came up with:

1) Make friends with mystery.  The more you learn, the more you will learn how much you have to learn.  This world is full of wonder and mystery, and the One who made it loves surprises.  Don't feel like mystery is willful ignorance; rather it is the humble admission that Ultimate Reality doesn't fit easily into your brain.  To force it in explodes the brain and shrinks the reality at the same time.

2) Life is pure gift.  You have never earned one breath.  The sun comes up at the hand of a power not your own.  On the day you were born, someone else did the labor.  Life is pure gift.  So live it, because sleepwalking through it is an offense to the One who gave it to you.

3) Don't be ashamed to say you are on a journey.  There will be issues that you need to wrestle with and illumination will not come instantaneously.  Some people in your journey will claim that faith is certainty (arrival).  But faith isn't certainty- faith is trusting enough to keep going in the face of all the questions (journey).  Following Jesus demands one who is willing to journey- so don't be ashamed to admit that you are on one.

4) Don't focus as much on a prayer life as a life of prayer.  There are people who gauge their faith quantitatively, counting the number of hours they spend in formal prayer.  However, everything you offer up to God is prayer, so live in such a way that ALL of life is prayer.  It should be easier to identify when you are not praying than when you are.  Let prayer permeate your entire life- not just 1 hour (or 23) of your day.

5) Listen!  Pay attention.  God reveals himself through words.  Listen, really listen, to others when they talk.  Notice what is said and unsaid.  Don't just read books, listen to them.  The shortest way to your heart is through your ears.  As a minister, you will have your fair share of time to be the one talking.  If you never listen, you'll rarely have anything worth saying.

6) Have a soft heart and tough skin.  Have compassion for others.  So much of our society depends on numbness, but never lose the capacity to feel for others.  Let others in, warts and all.  At the same time, don't let every little criticism depress you.  Don't let others define your ministry or determine your character.  Sure, let others have an impact on you but never control you.  Be a servant to all and a slave to none.

7) Keep up with friends and family.  Don't assume they know your love and care.  Communicate it regularly.  There are a million forces in this world that prevent you from staying in touch with them, but let love outweigh them all.

8) Don't be afraid of the truth.  Jesus is the truth, so every time you seek the truth you are seeking Jesus.  Wherever you discover truth (whether in science projects, studying other faiths, learning from friends, reading the Bible, confessing your own sins) you can see a little more of God's heart.  Therefore, don't be afraid to peer behind partisan slants and sectarian creeds to seek the Truth that trumps all truths.  There will be days when all you have are doubts, but those are the growing pains of your faith growing up and branching out.  Also, speak the truth, as best you know how, with all the sensitivity love requires.

9) Never confuse your truth with the truth.  Most of the evils perpetrated in this world are laid on the altar of truth.  To assume that you have a sure view of God's reality is either to maximize your vision or minimize your God.  Humility is a virtue of the mind, as well as the heart.  Just because someone disagrees with you doesn't mean they are evil or that they speak no truth at all.  It might mean that both of you are right (or wrong).  Since God is an awfully big God, you need all the perspectives you can gather.  Read people you KNOW you will disagree with.  Listen to varying traditions.  Learn.  Grow.  Seek.

10) Love.  Love deep and wide.  Risk the pain and agony that love often costs.  Love God and neighbor as if it is the most important thing in all the world, because, well.... it is.  

So what would you tell your 18 year-old, about-to-graduate self?